Some words

 

If freedom was on the table
I'd give all my life's money for it
because
life is a non-competitive sport
its purpose is to master it
in consistency with our own values
to express ourselves and help the common good

No end can justify a contradictory means
only way to peace is through peace
only way to love is through love
the only way to freedom is through freedom.

The echo travels farther than the voice

nothing wrong goes here, nothing bad, only the right, the public image, the dress you wear, nothing is a record for the judge here, this is where you take down, where you write what's right and nice, lest you utter those words...those...foul...but where are the guts? the guts that absorb everything into the bloodstream and the guts that let it out, will i have to cut into myself, will i have to stab inside to find any guts, just as they'd stab you outside to see if there's anything to be got? I am the vegan straight edge quaker i never was...can you tell i'm not gay? i'm not gay about anything that goes on today...the regulars...the usual guys, the gang...the crowd, buds, friends...i offered all my wealth and they will still refuse to manage it all, manage all of my anger...I asked my ex-wife to write me a recomendation letter to apply for this new job...of a religious...ministerial nature...there's nothing, but silence...growing like a cancer on someone's song...fetch me Jesus, i want to take all the parties' wine and make it into water, turn it clean again.

sebas

Dawndrops.

It was dry and now it rains  
just as swiftly I've seen it change
if so easily altered becomes the tide
i'll wait for you to be by my side
as waves crash and whisper sand
I'll hold the air to catch your hand
anew.

Song for G.'

There is something I must say
My love for you won't fade away
if there's one thing we must do
is hope for God to bring the truth

I know how darkness here abounds
yet light will guide beyond all bounds

O guard my steps in peaceful thoughts
Too many wars are being fought.
Beyond the storm there shines a lamp
above all wars there stands the lamb

I know the strife still casts its haze,
amongst ourselves we'll find his grace

In every morning ray I see
a spark of love for you and me
a little light so all could be.

VegoQuakstian

Being the pacifist, I am(right), I caught myself reading this which linked to the page for the sermon of the mount  and on that page I find this word: Typology  and after reading it I feel a little betrayed, little dissapointed to see the implicit agenda in all that, now of course it's obvious but you could claim syncretism, etc, I remember catholic masses where there were references to the tanakh as though announcing the coming of Jesus but this seems twisted altogether. 

Which is not to say that if God was a person I wouldn't want Jesus from Nazareth to be it the most, even more than Buddha and yet I believe Buddha Gautama's method to be quite enlightening. 

One thing I've always liked about Quakers is the standard of truth, Friends of the Truth, considering the message of Christ to be true and considering truth and knowledge thereof and consistency of speech and action with it important factors in one's own application of honesty and not bearing false witness. 

Islam considers Jesus(peace be upon him) a prophet, and I don't mind...they think(just as in judaism) that it's heresy to think anyone could be God's son, and yet they do consider him a beloved prophet of God and the messiah. Fine by me, for me Jesus' message is more important than wether he was actually God or not, wether he had magical powers and could actually raise the dead and so forth, I do believe he fulfilled his message when he symbolically got killed for us all as his getting killed was consistent with his overall message from my point of view.  Sometimes I am annoyed by Christians who seem offended by this, so that if it wasn't because of the belief that he is perfect, the son of god, born out of the holy spirit, and has magical powers, if it wasn't because of that belief, they probably wouldn't consider his message valid and true, and I think that is missing the point, especially as his death is an example of Love, forgiveness and friendship. Then there's the other annoying camp, who think of everything he said as an instruction to enter the kingdom of heaven...however if you look at the bible, the people Jesus hung out with and the persons he helped, forgave, spoke unto, you could infer as some liberation theology does that he was more concerned about this world and his message was a message relevant to this world, than just a pass to salvation, which shouldn't be the point, right and wrong shouldn't be based on self benefit...because they're not, otherwise they're only wrong. 

The muslims believe he was born of a virgin birth...so do most christians...I don't care who the father was...I think we should love him anyway and try to understand him, and learn from him...just like if he was a child. 

I find it funny...for some reason I think that at any given time, Muhammad, Buddha, Jesus, Zoroaster, etc would get along better than their corresponding followers. 

So I became a vegan, funnily enough I wrote a letter to the Friends Journal once in response to someone else's letter in response to an article written by a Friend entitled "Are animals our neighbours" or "are animals our Friends?", without any hint of vegetarianism that I can recall in my letter, i months later received a letter from a Friend Gracia Fay Ellwood, thanking me for the letter in defense of the planet and animals and telling me to "trust it will help Friends expand our horizons further"...now that was cool, then it said(this was a postcard, really nice design on the outside) "I invite you to subscribe to our online journal the peaceable table." The funny thing is: I wasn't even vegetarian at the time...I think I gave it a try for a while but gave up, so looking back, it's cool to go to my mail treasure box and be able to pull out this postcard which is a great inspiration and now serves as a great form of encouragement, it is somehow even better in terms of friendship and community than having my letter published in the friends journal, despite the fact that one thing led to the other...it was much like that feeling of not being alone.

How does it all relate? well to me Jesus' message is very much about consistency, ethical consistency in the way one handles things and self honesty...in light of that, I happened to be listening to straight edge hardcore punk band Gorilla Biscuits and the song was cats and Dogs, these are the lyrics: 

        
Man's best friend is beautiful and affectionate, an ideal pet.
Cats are the same, we make up their names and our love for them is real.
Listen up, I gotta ask you, how can we be so cruel?
You say you care, that's a lie.
My true compassion is for all living things and not just the ones who are cute so I do what I can.
I wanna save lives and I've got a plan.
Under the table he'll eat your dinner like the veggies we can't stand.
What kind of meal would he make?
We don't want to ask it.
Tradition is all that keeps him alive.
Listen up, I gotta ask how can we be so cruel?
You say you care, that's a lie.
My true compassion is for all living things and not just the ones who are cute so I do what I can.
I wanna save lives and I've got a plan.
Why am I so upset.
Don't even own a pet.
I am not trying to press my will.
I am not the first to say...
THOU SHALT NOT KILL
Full is all you want to feel.
We eat to stay alive, but it's their lives we steal.
I think we'd like to change,
but most of us are stuck, that's why cats and dogs have
ALL THE LUCK


So from a Christian perspective it would seem to me as though eating animals and or use them for our own benefit as a species would imply something along the lines of saying it would be fine and dandy for a "superior"(more intelligent, developped, etc) species from another planet(although not necessarily) to come and use us as slaves, breed us for food, etc...just because they can and it's convenient...this of course reminds me of our nature, what i call the human flavour(pun intended) of existence, how convenient this form is to exercise dharma or the golden rule or simply fairness and honesty...how even if we find something in nature that is fubar it doesn't mean that it is ethically correct for us to use it as a means of justification but serves as an example of what does not work towards harmony.

So that's a bit of my Christianity on the plate. 

The robbery

I am at Maria Elena's, a friend of mine, she rents rooms for guests in her house, Andrew, herself and I are talking, she's expecting a couple from Canada, we hear some screaming outside, and think for a moment that it's far away, I get up, we all get up, I open the door quickly and see a guy pointing a gun down on the guest, I close the door and I say outloud, "They have a gun, there's nothing we can do", I go and call the police, give the address, I tell Maria Elena not to open the door, she says "But they're calling me" I go in the backyard, then I come out front, they've already dispersed, I see a chunk of the wall that holds the gate is fallen. We open the door, he's got a scratch on his knee she's ok, Andrew and I put the chunks of cement so they hold the gate somehow, the cops came, take a statement, I give my name and I.D. number, both guests are unharmed, they have their stuff, I help translating the description of the burglars, the cops say if we see anyone suspicious just call, they will patrol around to see if they can find them.

Just got back home...strange night, I felt a little odd, responsible even by how I reacted, I knew they had a gun, after that point I knew that unfortunately they were on their own somehow outside, there was nothing to be done about it, I even recall saying "they have a gun, we don't" and that was my main thought...I felt as though anything done in terms of going out there could lead to someone getting shot, there were no shots...I know Maria Elena felt urged to go out as they yelled her name at one point, but I went to the backyard and just hoped for the best while at the same time tried to look for a way out in case they would just come in and try to take the house, I knew that after all the police were coming...five of them came on motorbikes...*sigh*, odd.

Wee bit of an intro.

It's 4:41 in the morning, the night is quiet and I feel urged to start this, a new blog, to write about what it's like...to be a Friend attempting to be a Friend...to share what might come to heart or mind...poetry, music or whatever may be left behind for anyone to read, learn, or be entertained from.

It behooves me to give a little explanation:

"Love with your heart if you can't love with your mind
Love with your mind if you can't love with your body
Love with your soul if you feel you can't love at all"

That's what came to me a few minutes ago, as I looked for a random book to flick through, and this moved me to open up a blog to share it.

About me:
I was born here in San Jose, Costa Rica, grew up in a Catholic family, my father who was a doctor died when I was 9, became a quaker a couple years ago in 2005, that same year I was blessed to travel to the World Gathering of Young Friends where I met Friends from all over the world, from evangelical Friends from Kenya, Latin America to unprogrammed and conservative Friends from the U.S.
At the time I was involved in a relationship, with a person I met online at a Nirvana fan website she and I...we met in NYC after about a year of talking and corresponding, the relationship seemed to rule and define my essence...it didn't work out as the distance(She was from Canada) did not allow for us to be together, I held on eventhough it was really beyond my means to get to her, who for several circumstances couldn't come here either.
I flunked(several times) a math test which is still pending for me to get my Highschool diploma.

I got a job, at a call centre (the name of the blog comes from my pseudonym from back then) the reason behind the job was to save money to go to Canada, the relationship crumbled and I spent a lot of money away on "stuff", by then I had been desperate for years and the ideal of a Quaker approach to living was just not present, instead materialism and viciousness ruled my lifestyle, I was making more money than I'd ever had had at my disposition growing up and spending it vainly. Few wise expenditures I remember, the closest I recall was to sign up in a gym for a year, and Aikido classes which I saw as forms of keeping sanity and myself busy during my own hours...needless to say I did not attend meeting too much at that time.

I felt in conflict with creation, with the universe, with God, in many ways I still do, I guess there's significance in that, I should perhaps try to love God with my soul, body and heart moreso than with my mind.

The day came when the relationship with Emma ended, a few months after I quit what had been my first job, I got a new job(also a call centre) fell in love again, bought an expensive bicycle, had a bicycle accident, broke my right radius and left collarbone in early january, had to be operated, got five pins put into my wristbone.

I quit the new job, I've done some interpreting work and taught English lessons.

A couple of days ago, I received an e-mail from my past love, saying she wished me peace, this came not at the best of times but after replying to it I felt a wee bit like coming to terms.

Maybe it's just a pathetic hope for dignity to think that one has grown up a bit and I still feel the passions burn me and take over at times and I still lose control sometimes but in all my confusion I think I'm a step closer somehow, towards the simplicity and faith I seek.

I became a vegan a couple weeks ago and for some reason this time seems easier, it's clearer, as an anarchist, as a Quaker...it's easier than years ago when I first attempted such change.

I hope for inspiration to transcend my self. The book on which I wrote what inspired me to this first post was by Fulton J. Sheen as I opened it it read:

"Unless souls are saved, nothing is saved; there can be no world peace unless there is soul peace. World wars are only projections of the conflicts waged inside the souls of modern men, for nothing happens in the external world that has not first happened within a soul"


This Friend speaks my mind.

-Sebastian Ortiz 5:36 a.m.